maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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