Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
