ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
