I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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