some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
