butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
