Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
