Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I love black thongs

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...

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(417): View more from Missouri

My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

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(417): View more from Missouri

you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up

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(818): View more from California

Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.

(818): View more from California

And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(419): View more from Ohio

I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex

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(719): View more from Colorado

Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.

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