i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found your dick twin last night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
