Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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