So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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