Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Randomize
