Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
