First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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