As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
