The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
