We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
