I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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