walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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