I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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