careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
