Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
