I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize