I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
