do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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