Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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