Have you finally orgasmed yet?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
