I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
