did you get engaged???
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
