If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
