Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
