Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Randomize
