Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize