Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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