Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
