Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
