fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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