Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
