yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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