You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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