Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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