Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
