if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize