I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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