the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
