I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
