Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize