a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
