I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
