Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
