Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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