dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
