Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
