She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
