I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Pooping to opera.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
