Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
