He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
