I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's shark week go big or go home
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
