Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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