it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
