Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
