How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize