You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
