we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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