Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
