I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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