Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
